Time to Wake!

How often we find ourselves at the end of our day and wonder how we could possibly not remember what we had for breakfast and where the twenty dollar bill we had earlier got to, how often. Frightening really, the times we come to our destination and find ourselves musing about the drive, as we don’t remember a single turn of it. Is it possible that we are missing characters in our own lives? Quite possible, it seems to me. More importantly, how can we replace these vague moments and forgotten turns, with something more lucid and engaging, even ultimately more satisfying? Possibly the best term I can fill the void with is “Conscious Living.”

Conscious Living is a way I remind myself to be a player on the stage of my own life, to live in the moment and savor more of life at every opportunity. Simply choosing to be more aware and conscious of the life we are moving through can have benefits beyond even the awakening experience. As we move into a New Year, symbolically filled with potential and new opportunities, I would challenge any and all to live consciously. Wake in the morning and resolve to pay more attention, act with more purpose, and be accountable in your own existence.

There are so many examples of how Conscious Living can change our little worlds it is hard to know where to start! So many ways we will benefit from the extra thought put into an action or decision, so many ways we could potentially save time, money, even heartache. The most simple and mundane example could be getting behind the wheel. There are studies that indicate that we would have vastly fewer vehicle accidents if we could eliminate even part of distracted driving. Some interesting studies can be found at www.nhtsa.gov, the website for the National Highway Traffic Safety Administration. As individuals how easy would it be to simply choose to be more aware behind the wheel? We could all easily practice more present moment thinking, choose to pull over to use cell phones (there actually was a time when we all survived without them), never eat behind the wheel, leave 5 minutes earlier to eliminate distraction from being late, dress before we leave our homes, and the list could go on and on. What would we benefit from these simple (though difficult for many) acts? On the somewhat insignificant end we might see better traffic flow. Bigger possibilities might include lower car insurance premiums, even if they are only for you as the individual who improves your driving record, but maybe as big as better premiums overall! On the earth moving end of the spectrum, we could lose fewer loved ones as we see fewer accidents on our roadways. This is Conscious Living in action, and all it takes is a simple decision to be present in your own life moments.

There are so many other ways that choosing to live consciously can find us in better places. I hear so many times how people cannot figure out where their money goes. I can tell them exactly where it goes. It goes into the cup of coffee they “had to have today, because today was just ‘one of those days.’” They needed it, but how quickly the moment is forgotten. How quickly the fact that most days are “one of those days” is also forgotten. Then there was the snack that was picked up with the cup of coffee because breakfast was forgotten in the hurry out the door. After that there was the quick bite at noon, because who has time to pack a lunch these days? By the end of the day twenty dollars, and probably more with the convenience of credit and debit cards, has slipped though tired fingers mostly unnoticed. How easy it would be to save a few hard earned dollars if we just thought about each one of those transactions. Simply waking up in the morning and pledging to think about your actions through the day could be an enlightening experience for many and if that enlightenment led to even a few small changes, perhaps it could even be a life changing experience. Maybe more money could be found in the budget when you put a cap on the unconscious spending you do throughout the day.

How many projects would go better if we put just a tiny bit more thought into them? If we simply live in the moment and think about what we are doing. Numerous trips to the store could be avoided, messes and damage lessened, just for a bit of thought and planning. We would probably forget fewer things as we leave our homes and we would probably lose fewer things while we were out! We would probably find that we are capable of very good decisions when we put a little thought into the equation. Our diets might even improve if we live a bit more consciously! We might find ourselves eating something new, rather than simply plodding along in the same rut, because we never think about what is outside of the rut. We might ultimately eliminate that irksome moment in each day when we anguish over what to make for dinner, because we have already given it due thought!

There is even the off chance that you might find life just that little bit more beautiful when you choose Conscious Living. Maybe you will be aware enough of your surroundings to notice the intensely beautiful sunset on your daily commute home. Perhaps you will actually hear the wit blossoming in your young child as you actually pull yourself out of the stupor to listen to what they have to say. You may even find an incredible person staring back at you when you look in the mirror with a new consciousness. We can all be amazing individuals if we only take the time and make the effort, but we must be aware, alive and conscious to really do that!

As you live more consciously you may find that you have more time, because you put some thought into your morning routine, were conscious of the time and your needs. You may find you have more money, because you saw that beautiful sunset and you didn’t need that “pick me up” to get through another day. At the very least you should know where that twenty dollars went! You may find you are more happy, because your interactions are more vivid and real and more meaningful. So many wonderful things are out there just waiting, but only for those aware enough to notice them.

I challenge each person who might read this to just think about what you have read. Just by thinking about it, you have been more conscious even for a moment. Let consciousness become part of your daily life, start to live in a more vivid and clear world. The best part is that Conscious Living won’t cost you anything, all it takes in the power you have inside you already. All it takes is a decision, a decision to bring your world into focus! You might be surprised at the good things you have been overlooking! Live Consciously!

The Act of Being Thankful

As I tie on my apron today, preparing pies and relishes, stuffing and bread, I find myself reflecting on the reason I am doing all of these preparations. Tomorrow is Thanksgiving. A holiday that, I think, may be becoming one of our most confused holidays of the year. We all know the story of the "First Thanksgiving." Very few people seem to know of Thanksgiving's later story and what gives the holiday the decided "flavors" it has today. The intended sentiments of the holiday are so simple, yet sadly we have moved so far from these ideals with the inundation of football and Black Friday sales. Where have we gone and what should we seek to regain in this oh so simple day?

Pilgrims and Plymouth Rock aside, Thanksgiving is about so much more than our school days history lesson. The holiday was not even formalized until 1863 at the urging of a most vociferous woman, wife and mother, Mrs. Sarah Josepha Hale. Mrs. Hale spent her life extolling the virtues of simple domestic pursuits, championing the institution of family and fostering fierce national pride! While days of thanksgiving had been celebrated throughout the early colonies and states, Mrs. Hale envisioned a greater symbolism for a day of thanks. She quite literally campaigned for a day to bring families together, symbolically uniting our nation as a family of sorts and celebrating the simple act of being thankful.

Whether you are spiritual or not, have a little or a lot, are young or old, man or woman, there is nothing wrong with being thankful. The religious inclinations of our forefathers should not deter any person from taking a moment out of their busy day to find something good about their life and say a little thanks. It doesn't matter if you say those thanks to someone, it is only important that you say them. In fact, for those of you who banter endlessly on my Facebook page about the merits and purposes of Christmas and Halloween and every other day of the year, stop to reflect on the fact that Thanksgiving is simply on the last Thursday of November. Any religious connotations attached to it were and are purely in the heart of the first celebrators and those who still lift up their thanks to God. Reflect on the intent that this should be a day to unify families of all sorts and our greater national family, to find the good in life from the smallest domestic pursuit to the incredible notions as big as faith and freedom! Take a moment to remember what Thanksgiving is not about too! (Even if you are thankful for football and sales!) Take a moment to really revel in the pure simplicity that should be Thanksgiving. Maybe you will even decide to boycott the stores and their Black Friday sales that tear families away from the table and more or less eliminate a day of rest and celebration in the pursuit of profit, fueled by material greed. Perhaps instead you will choose to spend the day with your loved ones, creating memories that can never be bought or sold, silently speaking out for the things you value and believe in.

As we sit down to dinner, I hope more than one will reflect on the innocent joy there is in sharing a meal. How few people, much less families, still share a meal? How much can we gain through this simple act? The connection over a shared meal can be indescribably more fulfilling than any electronic connection we may make throughout a day. I, personally, think love can actually be spread through homemade pumpkin pie! Revel in the satisfaction there is in making something with your own two hands to nourish people you love! The pure and simple nature of Thanksgiving should carry with it no commercial agenda, it should be as religious as you wish to make it, and it should remind us of the simplicity and joy of being with people we cherish. Your family may be your relations or it may be the family you have chosen for yourself. Your thanks may be many, or your thanks may be few. But to be thankful is a great thing. Let Thanksgiving be just that, about simple thanks and simple fellowship. Let us all give thanks and pass the pumpkin pie!

Blooming in the Garden - July 7

What is blooming in the garden this week? Unfortunately, nothing. Today the things growing in the garden we reduced to little green sticks. While we were in desperate need of water (things were frighteningly dry) when it came today it was in the unfortunate form of hail. During the massive hail (with thunder and lighting) storm today we, the 'children' and I, sat helplessly as things were pounded into little green mush and pitiful green sticks by the pea to nickle sized hail.


I guess we will see what recovers over the coming weeks and when in doubt there is always next season!

Blooming in the Garden - June 22nd

In honor of Summer, I am introducing a new addition! During the, admittedly short, growing season, I am going to introduce my blooming friends out in the garden. With the sweet baby, the garden got off to a slow start this year, but we still managed to plant a few things! With the rather dry and cold year it looks like it will be a challenge to make much progress, so let's see how things grow!

This week we have a rose popping open on the rose bush we earlier saved from spider mites. (At least we hope they are gone...) It is a new member of the garden family this year, gifted to us by a friend on Mother's Day at Phoebe's First Tea Party! It smells sweet and spicy, with the prettiest vibrant pink blooms!
We also have chive flowers on the chive plants! The chives are return friends, who were planted last season! I must say chives are so hardy that I might just grow a ton of chives, I mean they taste great on potatoes and even have pretty purple flowers!

Many other things are sprouting, but we will wait for them to get going before we meet them! Now if I can just get the dog to stop eating half the things I plant we might get somewhere with this garden thing! When more things bloom, I will meet you in the garden!

A "Scent-sational" Idea...Sachets!

During our recent move, I discovered an item that may be small and easily overlooked, but is not only charming, it is practically an essential in a new home. This little item is the sachet. While they are not very common in our modern smell loaded world, sachets are wonderfully useful. Unlike all the commercial scented items out there, sachets have a particular nostalgia and elegance about them. Their natural scents are not overpowering, yet effective. They are often dainty, but can easily be manned up for the gentlemen in the house. They really are a little treat!

The sachet actually became useful to me prior to our move. I was concerned that our linen items and clothing left in storage were in danger of being an attractive meal for any sort or vermin or creepy crawly. But I had an inspiration. Knowing that most creepy crawlies are not overly enthused about strong smells, I thought I would give our clothes a good dosing of something smelly. Well, there are always the time tested, yet not so lovely, mothballs. But who really wants to smell like an old mothball anyway? I sure didn’t, but I thought lavender might do the trick and I actually love the soothing scent of lavender. So I went to the herb shop and bought a big bulk bag of lavender buds, whipped up a few mesh bags on my sewing machine and I popped several little flower filled lovelies into my linen and wardrobe boxes. *Note: You too can easily do this! Just buy some bulk lavender and grab some of the little favor bags that most craft stores sell and fill them up!

I am pleased to report no meals were served while our things sat in storage. While I can concede that this may not be fool proof, at the very least my clothes and linens came out of their boxes smelling sweetly of lavender! But the useful little sachet didn’t stop there! I know many people would not think to mind the odors left behind by previous homeowners, but no matter how small, I wish things to smell as I please…not at anyone else pleases. So I quickly stashed my little bundles of lavender buds in the closets and drawers, so that when we put our wardrobes and linens in their new homes they would smell how I wished them to smell. And it is really a delight to open a drawer and find, well smell, a charming little sachet!

Sachets come in all shapes, sizes and smells. Some are very fancy and some are very plain. They all smell like something, but what can be up to you! As I suggested, one of the easiest ways to create your own sachets is to purchase bulk lavender at a natural foods market or herb shop and fill the small favor bags you find at most craft stores. Many shops and catalogs also sell sachets. The possibilities are practically endless.

While many sachets are lavender filled, one can fill sachets with a wide variety of items to please different noses! Gentlemen are not usually too thrilled to go around smelling of flowers, so for the fellows one can fill the little pockets with cedar shavings, pine needles, even sprigs of dried herbs. In fact, the Victorians were very fond of making pine needle pillows, or sachets, during their country holidays so that they could return home with the scent of the forest. Women who are not overly fond of lavender might try dried rose buds or petals, the leaves of scented geraniums, cloves, dried citrus peel, or even wood shavings scented with a favorite essential oil. We must be careful, however, when using certain fillers to be careful of where we place our sachets as oils could leach onto our precious items.

I have both plain mesh bag sachets, as well as delightful little muslin pillows dressed up with lace, ribbons and silk flowers! They are so lovely to come across when I open up a drawer or hat box, that it always brings a smile to my face! And I always use lavender, as it is such a soothing scent! It is not overly strong on my clothes and does not overpower the perfume I choose for the day! It transports me to an era past, a time for gracious living. Just one more of those things Mrs. Merl Must Have!

Special Note: If you are interested in sachets to purchase, I sell the little muslin, lace and silk flower designs on my Etsy page, Trystette! And there is something extra useful about my sachet design! Please have a look and let me know what you think! I am always pleased to receive suggestions!

The Benefit of Rituals

In our modern era we are so caught up in the idea of no rules, no boundaries, nothing is going to slow us down. It has gotten to a point where we seem to believe that if we plan or prepare or seem responsible - we are obviously boring and not having any fun. The reason I believe this to be true, you ask? I have often caught the wrath of others - because I am a planner. I have been criticized - because I am "not spontaneous." Yet, I am pretty darn happy.

Why is this do you suppose? I think I am happy because my life tends to be pretty peaceful. I am happy because I am not in debt. I am happy because I often find the extra time to do the things I want to do. I am happy because...I know the benefit of rituals!

Rituals really help me to improve my life...not slow me down. I know most people will want to balk at this idea. I mean surely, if I do the same things day in and day out, I will be miserable and I will get in "a rut." I have actually been led to believe from so many people I meet that if they were to do the same thing for more than one day they would be giving in, losing out, even committing some sort of crime. Where did we get this type of thinking? I am not sure, but I think culturally we have had a history of celebrating non-conformity. And I think that bucking the system can be a great thing and that rebelling can lead to important revolutions. But at some point we forgot that we should pick our battles. Instead, we adopted the idea of non-conformity so well that it has permeated pretty much every aspect of our daily living. I think it is time for a paradigm shift.

If you have stayed with me to this point, I hope that you are willing to consider a different way of living. One, I think, could prove to be more beneficial than you might at first imagine. Think about it, when we get stressed out what do we do? Grasp at any sort of ritual we can find. Really, we do! We need our bubble bath...with the special bath bubbles, just the right scented candles, the one CD (you know the one...you always pull it out when you need to relax,) and a glass of wine. Just like always. Hmmm, funny when life gets a little shaky...we find peace in our rituals. So why do we forsake them in everyday living, I wonder?

Let's consider embracing some rituals instead. Look at children. Children thrive on structure. Why should we be any different? Incorporating ritual into our homes gives us a sense of peace. It can be the one place we will know what to expect. It will be the one place where we can let our guard down, because there won't be innumerable unexpected "surprises." Coming home will be like finding ourselves in a warm and comfortable embrace.

Take mornings. They are more often than not HECTIC! And why are they hectic? Because the left hand doesn't know what the right hand is doing. There is an entire day ahead that needs to be addressed in the seemingly few moments before we are swept away by the rushing river that is life. Maybe we should just go back to bed. But wait! Morning can be so much more. Let's just add some ritual.

You can call them routines, rituals, or whatever you prefer. Just think about enriching your day with a little serenity! Wouldn't it be better if we started our day gently rather than with a crisis everyday? Here is where we benefit from rituals. And they can be simple. They don't have to take a lot of time. They can be easy to add in. Here are some ideas:

Start your morning the night before.

• Prepare tomorrows breakfast - while you cook tonight's dinner. (Special Extra! *see bottom of column.)
• Pack your lunch for the coming day - during dinner clean up.
• Special Idea: Create a lunch kit - use it everyday, then there will be no guessing. *Look for a future column on this fun indulgence!
• Gather the items you will need for the coming day and put it in a designated spot (I use a specific "work bag.") (This can be a really great way to jog your memory regarding anything you said you would finish during the evening.)
• Lay out your clothes for the next day. (This really adds peace to the morning when you aren't scrambling to figure out what to wear and then hunting down all the pieces.)
• Have everyone in the family adopt these evening rituals.
• Finally, sit down for just a few minutes (with your planner) and review your coming day, making sure you have everything ready so you can have a peaceful morning!

Just imagine how smoothly the morning will seem if you have everything ready to go! You will be able to enjoy your morning rituals even more because you don't have to scurry and try to prepare a full day upon waking. What morning rituals could we adopt to have a great day, I wonder...

Peaceful morning rituals.

• Make the bed upon rising (eliminates the temptation to get back in and you will have a lovely bed to greet you at the end of the day.)
• Make and eat breakfast. It is the most important meal of the day, you might be surprised at how great it makes you feel!
• Have a special something everyday at breakfast. For me it is a cup of hot, black tea in just the right cup. My special treat to start my day right.
• Get ready - this in itself should be a ritual. Seriously, if you do generally the same thing everyday, you are less likely to forget a step or something important. This alone will help you to feel more prepared to face the coming day.
• Tidy Breakfast/Prepare dinner (take out things to thaw, make a list of things to pick up while you are out, etc.) *A weekly menu can make this incredibly simple (look for a future column!)
• Finally, give your day one last moment of consideration, gather your lunch and goods for the day. You are ready to face the challenges ahead!

These are just a few ways to incorporate rituals into your everyday. Imagine not feeling rushed, not feeling unprepared. Imagine feeling "together," ready, and calm. Many of these things seem like they would take over your life, but you might be surprised by how little time they actually take, especially after you get used to your new system. If you don't believe me grab a timer and find out exactly how long it takes! (Timers are one of my favorite tools - check them out in Mrs. Merl's Must Haves!) And the results are so very rewarding. You might be surprised too at how much more time you find in your day, when you aren't wasting time catching up with life. Time to do something spontaneous even! You might find that you even have a few extra bucks in your budget. Don't believe me? Consider this. If you have time for breakfast, you might not spend those dollars on that snack when you feel like you hit the wall mid-morning. If you treat yourself to that morning treat, maybe you won't be tempted by the coffee stop on the way to work. And lunch is far cheaper packed at home than bought out! And more, if you already have dinner planned, prepped and waiting, you won't panic and spend the extra cash to grab takeout on the way home. And these are just a few of the benefits of rituals. It makes planning and being prepared seem a lot less "not fun!" Find a more beautiful life with The Benefit of Rituals!


*Look for more ideas on rituals you might want to add to your life, coming soon here!


Special Extra!

Breakfast doesn't have to be extravagant during the week. Simple eggs and toast don't take long to make and you will feel so much better having had breakfast! Other quick breakfast ideas include:

Yogurt, Granola and Fruit Parfait! (Get fun glasses to layer in!) This can be entirely prepped the night before (cutting fruit, spooning layers into the cup) and the granola will digest easier after being "soaked" with the yogurt overnight! If you want crunchy yogurt - you can always just prep the fruit and then mix in a bowl in the morning!

Porridge or Oatmeal Soak regular oatmeal, steel cut oats or any porridge overnight and it cooks in minutes in the morning! Add in yummy fruit preserves, honey, maple syrup, dried fruit, peanut butter, whatever you like and you have a simple and hearty breakfast!

Oven French Toast Buy a french bread, slice, layer in a greased pan, whisk up an egg mixture, pour over and refrigerate. In the morning pop in the oven while you get ready and when you are done you will have a yummy, hot breakfast just waiting to serve up! Add seasonal fruit to your pan and suddenly you have fruit french toast! It doesn't get better or easier than that!

Breakfast Burritos I know these seem labor intense. But the trick is to pre-make these! Make a big batch of breakfast burritos, wrap in tin foil, place in a plastic container and freeze! The night before you want breakfast burritos take a few out to thaw in the refrigerator. Then in the morning pop them in the oven to heat while you get ready. Dress these up with salsa, a sprinkle of fresh cilantro, whatever you like! (These even travel well - just wrap them up in a towel and put them in an insulated lunch container. Breakfast to go. But I recommend eating at the table as often as possible - you deserve it!)

With a little imagination, a little preparation, and a good set of daily rituals breakfast can be a joy - not a bother. So sit down and have a little breakfast, you will love it and feel great!

Mrs. Merl's "Must-Haves"

I want to introduce a new feature to my blog. Hopefully, one that will help me to post more often and get rolling with getting more wonderful information and ideas out there for people to consider. It will be "Mrs. Merl's Must-Haves!" There are so many great things out there. Some that are obvious and some that are less obvious. Many things I feel like I can hardly live without and some that are just those luxuries that we feel like we can't live without. Some things are extremely inexpensive and some maybe not so inexpensive. Some you can buy, some you might be able to make. Who knows what we "Must-Have." One of my absolute "Must-Haves" is a planner. Yeah, I know most people use their cell phones for this today. I have to say, for me, there is nothing like sitting down in the morning with a cup of tea and getting an idea of the day before me; written out by my own hand in a lovely book of real paper. I feel more calm using a planner than when I have ever used an electronic version. This year, I splurged on a planner. I figured if it was something I would use the whole year and if it was going to help me maintain my sanity it should be one I loved! I happened to purchase one from Hoffman Media, the company that publishes the ladies periodical "Victoria." Special Note: Most planners are now on SALE for HALF OFF! So it is the perfect time to pick one up and try it out!! In fact, the one I have is a great deal at half off and with free shipping...add to your bliss!

Some of my absolute musts for planner include:

• A large area to write on each day
• Being able to see my week at a glance
• Good paper quality
• Inspiring ephemera (you can add this to a plain planner if you can't find the perfect one!)
• A binding style that will last the whole year

Just make sure you open planners up and look at them. Some of them have such poor layouts, I am not sure what they are supposed to be organizing. Check several out and really think about what you do in a day, a week, a month. What do you need to write down and remember? Do you only have big events that you plan? Do you write out plans for each day like I do? Really assess your personal needs. Then grab the one that calls to you!! Then make it your best friend and get yourself planning!

Special Addition!
To really enhance my planning, I created a planner cover to protect it through the year and bought a great pen as a companion for my planner. It really adds a touch of personal expression and personalizes the whole process!
The cover has a little special pizazz!
And a place to hold my special pen!!